So I wonder if there will ever come a day when I hear these words. It seems like the last 8 months have been a big trial of my faith. Yet I do not seem to pass the test as this daughter did.
As a girl I have a vision of what the future would be and what life would be like. When I graduated from high school and went off to college I planned to graduate with a degree in early childhood education. I planned to put that degree to work at home. If I needed to work I could do it from home and be there for my kids. Well that didn't go as planned. In fact a lot of my life's plans didn't go as planned.
Here's the biggest hurdle for me ... getting over it!
When you set goals for your life and completing goals is how you have always defined your life. Where are you when at 42 those goals are all unfulfilled? Do my goals truly define me? Do my children define me? Does my job? My companion? My home? I thought they did. I thought they would.
I have spent the last 8 months reliving every mistake I ever made. Trying to decide which one took me so off course. Then it hit me, it wasn't my choices it was my faith. 15 years ago I made a choice I never truly had faith in. Since then I have not had the faith in myself to make choices. When it came to choices at work or in my church callings, those seemed easy. At work I just did what Jon, Lee and John told me to do, at church I knew the Priesthood leaders and the Lord would not let me go astray. In my life no such faith. Now I am in a place where I feel lost, confused and scared and wanting nothing more than to reach out and touch the hem of the Saviors robe and have him tell me I am whole.
What gives you the strength, faith and courage to make those hard choices?
What moves you to reach and grab "the hem" and KNOW that it will make you whole?
So this years journey ... FAITH TO MAKE ME WHOLE!
5 years ago